Saying goodbye...

This is a song I wrote at the beginning of my time here, when I first met most of the volunteers. It's called "All These People." It's about being impacted by so many people and places, and how they can change your life, your thoughts, and your heart. Enjoy!

There are times in your life when you know things have to change. You graduate high school... you graduate college... you get married... you move. Whatever it is, you know that things will be different. You can't stick with the mindset of the old, because the times will be new. Although, being here in South Africa, I've learned a whole new meaning to the word change.

First, living in a whole new place, country, continent, culture, was a huge change. Then the projects... they change, grow, adapt, progress. Then the people: one of the hardest things for me to get used to. People converging from all over the world, staying for a time and then departing. We live life together. We share everything: our clothes, our food, our testimonies, our hurts, our frustrations. And then one day, they are gone. I thought I would get used to it after the first few volunteers left, but it never got easier. It actually only became harder, because the people I was saying goodbye to last were the ones I was closest with.

I feel so blessed to have served alongside all the volunteers that have come to YFC Cape Town in this year, 2011. There were ups and downs and all-arounds, but still somehow we managed to make it work. I saw so many people come in and out from so many different countries and cultures - Germany, Holland, the entire UK, France, America - and each of these people brought something beautiful and special to this place and to this center. There is something I miss about everyone, and I could use the next 5 blog entires to list all of those things, but instead, I will just talk about a few of the people. The wonderful people who have just departed and are already so sorely missed. There will always be a vast space in my heart for each of them and also a vast space that can never be filled here at YFC Cape Town. People can try, and they can do well, but there will always be something missing.

Mirjam: my dearest roomie from Holland! One of the most generous and loving people I know. Also, one of the most affectionate, which I appreciated after Shawna, my best friend, had left SA (even though it took some getting used to, as I am not the most touchy-feely person in the world). Mirjam always knew when I was feeling down and always new exactly what to say to make me feel better. I will never forget our long talks at night before we would go to bed: going to bed at 9pm and staying up until 12am chatting about our family woes. She let me have most of the closet space (which began to become ALL of the closet space) and let me take over the room with my plethora of hats, scarves and purses. She never complained about anything. She sacrificed for everyone all the time never thinking for once about herself and what she wanted. And above all else, I knew she loved God. She loved Him with a big heart... Now she is off doing great things in Holland, finishing up her degree and always sending me the sweetest messages/letters! Mirjam, there will never be a better roommate, nor friend. You are too good to me!

Kadder: my love from Germany. What can I do without you? In the words of Blue, NOOOOOTHING! Things just don't seem to work without Kadder. I constantly think "what would Kadder do?" or "how would it be if Kadder was here?" And I know maybe that is wrong, but she just made such a big impact on lives and the center that it's hard to imagine life and the projects without her. She was one of the sweetest people I know. HANDS DOWN! She never ever ever thought about herself, and always was the first one to sacrifice if there was a need. And even if there wasn't a need, she was still the first one there to look past herself. She wore her heart on her sleeve and there was no doubt about her passion for the Lord. Everything she did was for Him. She is also one of the most adorable people I've ever met. HANDS DOWN! Which made being with her all the more better... You can never be mad at Kadder, she's just too cute! She can do no wrong ;)... In the beginning, we never thought we would ever be close. Her quiet spirit and reserved nature seemed to clash with my loud, outgoing and sometimes overwhelming spirit. But here we are: and I would consider her one of my best friends. She truly has changed my life, and I thank the Lord for her presence in my life! I know she is back doing great things in Germany! Any child would be lucky to have her as a teacher!

Lizzie: last, but certainly not least... THE Lizzie Bell. What words can truly describe this amazing woman. There really aren't enough. First and foremost, her love for Christ was contagious! She inspired me to love God more. I loved to be around her and learn from her and even just share stories with her. She was always willing to listen to my LONG stories and always gave the best advice. She never questioned anything and always tried to make situations work out for the best. She would bend over backwards and go out of her way for anyone, and that was so admirable. Even people she wasn't close to, she would still love them to so big. There is a Lizzie shaped hole in this YFC office now. I don't think anyone will ever take her place or be able to fill her shoes, she set the bar so high. And no one can replace her in my heart either! Lizzie was and still is such an amazing, special, talented, generous, caring, outstanding, gracious, proper, impressive, gorgeous individual, and I'm so blessed to have known her for this short time. Lizzie was with me until the bitter end... the last of 24 volunteers that I watched leave. And who better than her to stick it out with me. I don't know what I would have done without her and I know my time here would not have been nearly as amazing. God does truly bring people together in glorious ways! Lizzie is back teaching in England at a special needs school for students with cerebral palsy. She's always working hard and loving even harder. Thank you Lizzie for just sharing a little bit of your life with me. I'll never forget you!

I know it's not goodbye. Just goodbye for now. It's so difficult to say goodbye in these circumstances though. People from all over the world. It's so hard to say when we will see each other again, but I know one day. My heart won't ever let me forget.

-Kristen