worship & a cup of coffee

This weekend… woof. Need I say more? It was a fantastic weekend, but utterly exhausting. I learned a lot about myself in this time and even more about worship. I feel like a broken record with every blog post: “I learned a lot about myself.” I don’t think God will ever stop showing me more. That’s the beauty of life!

I led worship at an Assembly of God church on Sunday morning and then helped lead at a non-denominational church in the evening. The two churches were far extremes of each other: the morning being ultra-responsive, and the evening being semi-lethargic. I realized that being in-tune with the Spirit in worship also means being in-tune with the attitudes and mindsets of the people in the room. The morning harbored a sense of freedom, like a free-flowing breeze: comfortable, lovely, refreshing. The evening harbored a sense of entrapment: people warring within themselves, holding on to their burdens, and new to the concept and freedom of musical worship.

Worship is life… it’s not just music. I lead musical worship, but it’s so much different than leading worship with your life. Sunday night, one of the volunteers who was at the church for worship came up to me to just thank me for a blessed time. I of course gave the glory to God, but then proceeded to explain to her my discoveries about worship. I described my experience in leading worship, like I was playing at a brick wall, etching away at the stone, and trying to shine any sort of light through the cracks. Some people let a little bit of their guard down, but not many. But it’s never about the masses in worship, it’s about the ONE. The lone sheep that strays. You leave the masses to find that one sheep. And maybe you don’t find or save them in your first venture out, but you get them closer to return. Then God does the rest.

Worship in music is a complete reflection of how you worship God daily. If you can’t get excited about your relationship with Christ in worship, then how can you get excited in your normal day-to-day walk? Music is just an added bonus to getting to worship God with our whole hearts and lives. It’s not necessary at all, but it is a joy… a blessing.

I know God has gifted me with the ability to lead worship musically, and I am so grateful and humbled. I pray for more opportunities to bring people to a closer place with God. And if I continue to play for the brick walls, eventually something will break. And regardless of the response, at least I can enjoy the worship!

I sit here with my cup of coffee, humbled by God’s sweet love. It is more boundless than I could ever know. God use me, but allow me to know my limits. I need to look at my own relationship with You sometimes. Here I am to worship.

-Kristen